Today I wanted to buy flowers for you... but I didn't, because you haven’t showed up yet.

I've been asking around for awhile: Have you seen her? She’s.. well she... she isn’t... well she's the one I'm supposed to meet. I keep grabbing at the wrong arms, thinking maybe I saw the right smile... but it's the same folks that have taught me that no, they aren't her.

I keep a rose next to my elbow at the tea house, while I read the latest historical fiction. You're going to peer over it one of these days and smile, the rose already at your nose. And I'll know.

What are your eyes going to be colored as? Will they follow the code of all my past, great loves, and be some shade of green? Or will yours be of a different hue: an angry ocean, a brilliant spring sky, the cinnamon stick in my Tiger Spice Chai?

Will your hands be the same as mine? Strong and sure, rough in some spots from working hard on projects you love? Will they be long and elegant, not knowing the days of hot sun and hard work, but of soft caresses and the writing of songs and romance? Will they bend around my own hands so I may kiss them, shape around my cheek so I may shiver from their warmth?

Will your hair be red and untamed, like a halo of fire? Like my dreams? Will it be the color of cocoa, or sunburst, or a raven’s wing? Will you wear it free and fine, just for me, just for my hands? Might I entwine it around my fingers and then brush it out for you, as a servant to a lady? Might I bring the scents you love to perfume each delicate strand, until you cannot even turn your head without overwhelming me with your beauty and your scent?

I know you'll sweep me off my feet, and I'll break my bank to give you everything your heart desires, to have you look as beautiful as you want for me. I'll buy you that hat you always wanted, the dress that compliments your eyes, that corset you and I had been blushing over for months. I'll buy the ring that will shout out to the world my devotion for you, and you will pick out the corsage that will be on my suit. We will dance to the music we love, to our song, and I won't stop crying from joy, while you'll just keep handing me tissues and smoothing out my lapel, wrapping your arms around my neck and telling me how much you love me.

You'll let me make love to you in the accordance of my mood, of the stars, of the look in your eyes. I'll take small sips at first, testing the waters. And lord knows you'll have to be patient, and guide me, teach me.  But then as I know you all the more, I'll take you with all the strength I have, that I have held back for so long, and you will revel in it. You will glow with satisfaction, with peace, and I will watch you sleep.

I'll be the one who catches you when you fall. We'll hold each other against the cool breezes coming in from the sea, from the rough times when the bills look meaner than my parents will undoubtedly be. You'll let me hold on to you when I don’t feel strong enough, and you won't think less of me for it.  You will see how weak I really am, and be overwhelmed at my trust. My complete and total trust. You will know me better than any human being, of any god, because I will not be ashamed of me anymore.

And maybe, just maybe, one day, we will be enjoying a quiet day together. Perhaps while I work at a desk, or while we sit at a bench near some pretty landscapes. Then you will squeeze my hand to make me look up, and with eyes that I will obey for all eternity, you will say, "It's time."

What color will its eyes and hair be? Will its features mimic mine or yours? Will its little hands be strong and sure, like my own? A boy or a girl? A son or a daughter?
No, it won't really matter. Because it will be beautiful, and timeless, and I will love that child as much as I love you. I will sacrifice, work, and give up everything for its happiness, for its smile. Just as I will do for you, my unknown darling, my love.

Now, if you would only just... show up! I'm not getting any younger you know.